Sunday, February 9, 2014

The Flu

Ever since I was young, I have truly hated and despised one thing in this world more than anything else:  the stomach flu.  Therefore, I take whatever precautions necessary to avoid being infected with such a disease.  Back when I was in the MTC and some elders down the hall from my dorm room started to throw up, I declared World War 3 against them.  I commanded them to be quarantined in their room, and when they didn't stay there, I quarantined myself - lysoling and hand sanatizing everything in my path.  (No, I'm not a germ freak - I'm a flu freak, thank you very much).  Anyway, I won the battle and escaped unharmed.  Victory.
Then I came to Korea and tasted the wonderful world that is Korean food.  Delicious, yes, but also spicier than anything I have ever had in my life.  A thought entered my mind: "if I ever get the flu and throw any of this up, it will be the worst thing that has ever happened to me".  Luckily, the time passed and I never came down with any illess that would cause me to do so.  That is, until this last week....
As soon as I woke up on Tuesday, I knew I was in trouble.  My stomach hurt, my body ached, and my mind knew it - I had the flu.  "Oh please no", I thought.  I needed to convince myself it wasn't true - do some sort of mindtrick on myself and make it go away.  I decided to not tell Otterson, and we ended up going to the gym first thing as we do every morning.  "You don't have the flu, you don't have the flu" I repeated, and decided that a jog on the treadmill wouldn't be too bad of an idea. 
Yeah. Stupid, I know.
By the end of my run, I just felt even more sick - but I was still in the pre-throwing-up-and-instead-just-feeling-like-you-wanted-to-curl-up-in-a-ball-and-punch-something stages, and not quite to the point of throwing up yet.  We got back to our house, and I still didn't want to tell Otterson how I was feeling.  To hide my sickness (and to still try to trick my body), I ate eggs and toast and kimchi for breakfast.  "I'll probably be seeing all this again fairly soon", I thought as I mustered up the courage to swallow.  It was now time for our morning studies - personal, companionship, and language.  I made it through the studies and we headed out the door to our first appointment of the day (with hard working mother).  Of course, as she always does, the very second we sat down in her house, we were given massive ammounts of food:  rice, fruit, tea, kimchi, etc.  I ate it all, hating myself as I did so.  But, I had no choice.
Anyway, the day went on.  We visited with people, walked around the city, talked with people on the street, and I still went about they day acting as though I wasn't sick, but I was just progressively feeling worse and worse.  Finally, it was time to go to our dinner appointment out in the countryside - one where we would have to take the bus to get there.  By this time, I decided it was time to call it quits.
"Hey Elder Otterson", I said. "I have something to tell you"
"What's that?"
"So all day I've been feeling really sick and I'm pretty sure I have the flu"
"....So what's your point?"
A little taken back, I responded "So I don't think we can go out to our dinner appointment.  There's no way I can eat dinner tonight, let alone ride the bus to get out there"
"Oh I think you'll be fine", he reassured me, and that was the end of our discussion. 
"Whelp", I thought.  "This is going to be fun" and we boarded the bus that would take us through the twisted and bumpy roads of the Korean countryside, only to find out that there was standing room only.  Perfect.  I ended up squished between Elder Otterson and 5 other Koreans, and our bus ride began.  Of course, the bus driver was one of the crazier ones, therefore not helping my situation at all.  I could feel my breakfast and lunch churning inside of me as I just took deap breaths and tried to let the time pass.  I started to look for where I could throw up if it came to that.  The only choice I had was the bend down, lean over the seat where a 80-something year old grandma was sitting, open the window, and let it all out.  Not the best option.  So, I just instead started to tell myself "you will not throw up on this bus, you will not throw up on this bus".  Then, 5 minutes later, that turned to "okay, you might throw up on this bus...".  Then, 5 minutes after that, "If you don't get off this bus RIGHT NOW, IT'S GOING ALL OVER GRANDMA!!"
At the very moment, Otterson tapped my arm.  "We're getting off here", he said.  Oh thank goodness, I'm saved.  The bus came to a lurching stop and I somehow hobbled off.  For a few seconds I felt okay, but then my body decided to hate me and told me "okay, time to throw up now"
I hated.  My life.  I instantly started searching for options as I felt my stomach volcanoeing inside of me.  I can't just throw up in the city street - only drunks do that.  I ran inside the store right there by the bus stop and shouted "WHERE'S THE BATHROOM!?".  Luckily, there was one, and after listening to the cashier's instructions as to where it was, went down the hall, found the bathroom - mens or womens, I didn't care, went inside, and launched myself to the toilet with no time to spare.
Seriously, worst part of existence.  I flushed the toilet, wiped my face, and stuck a piece of gum inside my mouth to deal with the taste.  Well, no I really had the flu, right?  So it was time to go home and be sick.  Well, that's what I thought.  I left the bathroom and told Otterson that I had just thrown up.  And instead of deciding that we would cancel our appointment, somehow we decided that we would still continue on with the day.  How in the world did that happpen???  Haha, I have no idea.  I really need to get my priorities straight. 
Anyway, I'm running out of e-mail time, but to really quickly conclude - we ended up going to the dinner appointment with the family and I was treated by the mother with old Asian healing remedies.  She fed me a ton of the weirdest things I have ever tasted (literally, fed me.  Like opened my mouth with her hands and shoved it inside) and miraculously, I was cured.  Well, no, not cured, but I didn't thow up again and we were able to still eat with the family and teach them.  Wonderful, eh?  Then, when we got home for the night, I allowed myself to be sick and the bathroom was by best friend throughout the night.
The mission sure provides some funny experiences, no?  Can't wait to see what this next week brings!
Elder Graf

1 comment:

  1. Christian! I love your experiences you are having! Man!! This one is one of my favorites! I am glad it happened to you and not to me :) I HATE to throw up too! It is a Graf trait. I will avoid it at ALL costs! I feel your pain with every word that you wrote down! Keep up the letters! Our prayers are always with you :) Love you!!